Deviant Wave – not all waves of the sea soothe you!

Each time that I strive for answers, the changing colors of the sea tell me that I am not alone in my dubiety! That I too like the sea, am a creation of leisure that has always been interpreted in haste!

Overdose of feminism all around

…and the same gets beyond me. I am human when I present my views but my book gets “wrongly” tagged as a feminist book. I have cried hoarse time and again that I am not a feminist in writing or in thought and my book is all about woman and womanhood. It’s not that I have anything against feminism – I cannot afford to have when it’s a label that no matter how much I have shrugged it off, has found its way to stick to my name!

However, saying that, I stand clear on the fact that I am not a feminist. Why you ask, mainly because I don’t think standing up for issues related to women always necessarily means putting the male folk in  low and bad light. I can remove that aspect and still talk about rights – if that part gets intertwined in the process I have no problem. But I shall make no hue and cry, snickering or clicking my tongue over ..

Talks in  jest where I talk of pouts and smiles helping me get my way!

Pointing out “Rachel thank -you’s” over coffee and giggling over the same…

Putting up a fight and row on my blog, just because my man denied me the right to Pink (though it’s a different story that he shall have many more supporters than me :/)

Cuddling a teddy and loving Barbie in a little girly fashion

Desiring a male child because I might really like little baby boys just like you proudly flaunt the pink ribbons!

Listening to my man and his wishes and not feeling dominated when he takes a decision for me 

Sharing accounts or asking him before I spend on a thing

Being daddy’s little princess and still relying on him

Despite writing for World Bank and penning down books, wanting to serve my family food cooked by me for dinner

Giving up work for children and not expecting a role reversal with my partner

Wanting to live in with my in-laws and not really agreeing to the issue of “space”

Despite supporting various causes and defending rape cases in courts wearing the lawyer tag, refusing to give into male bashing at each instance 

Giving a lady the advice of trying to repair a relationship with egos being dropped, hers being first and not thinking that I am asking her to give up her self-worth

Not being able to control my tears in public – strong women don’t break down!!! 

I really want a space where I can breathe free and giggle – not one where each word is hair split and people are ready to point and pounce on how your statement is derogatory to the entire clan of women! 

I am a woman and a very proud one – I can proudly say that the amount of gender studies work I have done surpasses what my peers have indulged in (of those I know), but still I feel that standing up for womanhood is not being feminist.

I am NOT one and thank you I don’t want to be one. To all those who are, I don’t judge you, hope you don’t too, am glad that you are spreading awareness and promoting rights…

As for me am happy being a mere mortal ….

18 comments on “Overdose of feminism all around

  1. Bikramjit Singh Mann
    March 28, 2012

    Thats the first thing to be happy being a mortal or being human .. I am also getting sick and tired of all the stuff going on .. Its making things worse ..

    Good to know you stand up for womanhood .. we all should🙂

    People are spreading awareness and all that but it seems all that is only , how do i say .. only where they can show off there latest BUYS..

    the real woman , the ones who actually need help and need to be brought up and treated like human they are still sitting there waiting for the miracle to happen ..

    • deviantwave
      March 30, 2012

      the real women shall be helped when we know what real feminism is , till then I just hope we don’t banish men from the face of earth and then kill other over a cat fight!:/

      • Bikramjit Singh Mann
        March 30, 2012

        🙂 yeppp it sure is happening that way ..
        now wonder i ran away from india he he he he

        • deviantwave
          March 30, 2012

          Bikram, sorry but it’s almost all over the world now – as they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. And also, I don’t believe that running away is actually the solution – for then there’s no place on earth which can create a haven. and moon bookings are not open yet, me thinks!🙂

          • Bikramjit Singh Mann
            March 30, 2012

            h,mmmmmmmmmmm Well you will be surprised to know that , here I have not felt anything like what i read and come ot know happens in our nation back home.

            The term equality here means different then what we have taken it to be back home. A lot of difference.. Put it this way after reading blogs , news , talking to friends back home , I seriously think Men especially are in danger out there..

            Things take place here too but they are portrayed or take care of in a different way , There is not that much of a “walk behind without knowing what is going on” ..

            The one problem I find back home is we have this attitude that we follow a lot of causes or people without even know what actually they are doing , since the neighbour is doing it , I will do it too.

            • deviantwave
              March 30, 2012

              Bikram, if you find problems what do u do to address them? Anyway chuck it we are getting on a different tangent here and the outcome might be very bitter…

              I just know something is not right and thus I speak.. there are others who will just say yes this is not right.. but then what are you doing about it. Blogging and speaking is the first power in hands of bloggers, but sadly we shall only criticize!

              • Bikramjit Singh Mann
                March 30, 2012

                criticize what ..
                Here is a example ..

                At one blog A women is talking about her husband, without even talking to the husband what the problem is .. There are Umpteen comments how the husband is wrong blah blah blah.. I commented that Shud the lady not talk to her husband first and know Exactly what he MAY or MAYNOT say.. and then think of a action.. and Guess what my comment had UMPTEEN thumbs down as how can i say that …

                Yesterday I wrote a completely opposite comment to something similar where the husband is being neutral and the MIL is not behaving correctly with the lady .. My comment to that was that the lady shud have a word with husband and if nothing happens then she should consider parting ways .. AGAIN I have UMPTEEN Thumbs down..

                So now you tell me of the two above how can One win, such is the way. I think its my face the reason for the thumbs down..🙂

                The problem is those who want changes , DONT know what change they want , they just want IT, but what or how no one knows.

                What I am doing about it Well I treat each person with the same respect as I want to be treated .. plus my job is such i cant afford taking sides ..

                But as you said lets not go there.

                • deviantwave
                  March 30, 2012

                  Then probably you are wasting your time commenting when u should be using your own space to spread the word. i know the post you are talking about – I refuse to comment there for I know that either I shall be attacked for not agreeing to the views of the battalion who will always agree with the author of the post or my comment will not be published – the right of moderation of the author!🙂
                  That is why we have our own spaces and voices and need not always bicker with others – I think you should see this, have a feeling you shall love it –

                  • Bikramjit Singh Mann
                    March 30, 2012

                    Will do Mam🙂

                    Thank you.. Take care and keep smiling …

                    • deviantwave
                      March 30, 2012

                      You too take care and when you blog to rant about what u feel, leave me a ping back I shall hop over there to give u a big hug!🙂

  2. Smitha
    March 28, 2012

    Sags, But why would we assume that being a Feminist is ‘only standing up for women’? I am a proud Feminist – who believes that Feminism is more than just standing up for women – it is about equality for all. The issues that are called ‘women’s issues’ are just as shackling for men. Gender stereotypes for instance. They tag and bracket men just as much as women. Which is why, I am proud of my husband who calls himself a feminist. In my opinion(or my own definition), feminism is beyond women – it is about equality of treatment for everybody.

    What I have come to realize is that the term Feminist has come under so much bashing that most of us shy away from it.

    • deviantwave
      March 30, 2012

      Smitha I ask that too, infact I have always said that I stand by rights – and wont bat an eyelid to point out a woman who is wrong. But it is this exact overdose of OMG the men are all out there to put us down that kills me. I wish feminism was beyond women too – but sadly the blogworld is making me sick with the dubious interpretation. Hugs, am glad at least there are a few who think like me!🙂

  3. phoenixritu
    March 28, 2012

    As a person who believes that a woman is strong just because she is feminine and has a different kind of strength, I really love your post. Women and men are not same and do not need to define themselves in the same way. So I would like a world which respects their innate strengths and understands their weaknesses. Patriarchy worried me, and now rabid feminism does the same

    • deviantwave
      March 30, 2012

      Patriarchy worried me, and now rabid feminism does the same

      Need I say anymore, you said it all with that line. Hugs and thanks🙂

  4. passey
    March 28, 2012

    ‘Feminism’ is just another word that has served its purpose… but may still have a role to play in certain parts of the world. I think ‘feminism’ is an essential stage and must be borne before a society evolves to the next stage and creates a new movement!

    Arvind Passey

    • deviantwave
      March 30, 2012

      I think ‘feminism’ is an essential stage and must be borne before a society evolves to the next stage and creates a new movement!

      I loved that line, but guess Arvind for that we need to ponder about the actual definition of feminism and not make a hue and cry over our power of interpretation!🙂

  5. Deeps
    March 29, 2012

    I feel the very assumption that feminism is about putting men in bad light is a misconception. To me feminism is not about bashing men, rather it is about being sensitive towards all, men and women alike, it is about recognizing each person’s worth and encouraging equal opportunity irrespective of gender. And I know scores of men who are accepting and respectful towards every human. I totally agree with Smitha. Feminism, is beyond women. It is about equality for one and all.

    • deviantwave
      March 30, 2012

      I totally agree Deeps, thus it boils my blood to assume that there’s a man behind every wrong inflicted on women. I can go on and on but I won’t for just the simple thing that I may end up targetting somebody personally. But yes I loved for Smitha had to say too🙂 Hugs!

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This entry was posted on March 28, 2012 by and tagged , , , , , .

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