Me and M have been running high on losing weight (running in our minds that is! 😕 ). We have tried everything and still trying the same over and over again, but it is kinda hard 😐 (let’s hear a round of applause for us please 🙂 )
M’s gym instructor puts in a special warning that she has to report the next day also – thus reading her mind as she was attempting to convince her abs that one day of rest is needed! 😯 The canteen guy at work, gleefully announces to me and the biryani is ‘extra special’ today just when I was fighting with the bowl of papaya that it wasn’t attractive enough! 😳
Ours fights shall become epics soon… 🙄
M: Why am I so fat?
Me: Because HE loves us.
*we were on way to Salsa class – and so that we don’t end up at Leopold guzzling beer we were reminding ourselves of our ‘statistics’*
M: No A doesn’t love me! 😦
Me: Yes of course, thank God for that! 🙄 I meant Lord himself !!!! 😎
*M gives me the look which asked me since when I have been attending the Sunday School behind her back* 😯
M: Nonsense … we are not the chosen ones! 😡
Me: We are – it is a plan. We are the ones who save the earth – we are the saviors of the Universe Mandate! 😎
M:Ya right! We take on all the depression. Why can’t everyone be thin? 😥
Me: That’s against the plan of nature !!!! 🙂
*M contemplates throwing me on the tracks but stops short in her own tracks remembering that then she has to pay the rent alone* :twisted:
M: Go on Miss Philosopher! 🙄
Me: What you think I am kidding? Ok here it goes … see it’s all simple economics of the Universe. When there’s a quantity X available and you have to make models out of it you can decide what to make and what not to make. But then you are given limited variables and not all are equal in quantity – and the same needs to be balanced on the scales so that equilibrium is maintained. So you have to indulge in permutation and combination and ensure that you create but not over populate, neither even under populate and make sure it’s a mixed bag to keep up the variety index and yes finish all that is on your plate (like Mommy said 😐 ) – thus came thin and fat people.
Reasearch proves that Fat people apart from the philosophical need of creation also contribute to the economics of the nation:
Fat people are those who help curb the population index – You admit right that everything is rationed per individual – food, bus seat to the voting right. So as long as you can stuff it into making one individual its cool right? It’s better to have one person demanding a little bit more space than 3 people hanging on to the edge of the world (who said rounded corners don’t have edges) letting gravity decide their fate. So it’s all God’s family planning method u see – he doesn’t belive in I Pill!!! 😎
Fat people are those who help curb costs – A fat person dies young and thereby contributes so much less to the health costs of the state. I mean do you actually know how the Finance Minister feels when he sees a sassy young size zero chick taking her jog every morning – he goes like – “First they’ll do all this and then curse onions and tomatoes! Hello – do something yourself – Die and let live!” 😆
Fat people are loved by animals – PETA has decided to launch this campaign against fleecing and the fat people are the for-runners. The more warm your body fat keeps you the lesser you require that pure mink boa! It’s all for a noble cause.
*Turning to M*
Me: So you see it’s nothing but economics. We are actually needed and should be loved
M *unplugging the Ipod* – Hmmm .. you were saying something. Nice song this of Dido … mail me the file plz! 😳
Me *dumbstruck* : Here I give a thesis on how I am justified being fat and should be given a humanitarian award and all you care about is *&^ing Dido (who again sport’s a ‘perfect’ figure)! 😡 😡
M *smiling* : Ohh you were talking to me …. Thought you were practicing your lines for A! 😆
Ya Right M! Wait till I sell this piece of research analysis to World Bank – when the next White Paper on Monetary Policy for Developing Countries bears my name you’ll understand my value!!!! 🙄 😐 🙄
Nobody understands valuable gyaan these days – to them its all drama! I just hope a few intelligent people are left there – still. Like me.
When will the world appreciate geniuses (read ME!) 😥