The Zit-In-Charge,
City of Evil Eyes,
Never to be visited land
Shani World

Dear Zitty,

I am writing this mail to you after a lot of thought. Yes, in fact today morning as I woke up and stared at the mirror I truly contemplated whether I should write such a letter in public to you. But then when the numerous occasions when you have put me in a jeopardizing position in public flashed before my eyes, goodness flew out of the window and I decided to type.

I really don’t know what you have against me. I cannot recall doing anything to you or your fellow mates in childhood. I remember being scared of you when you visited Didi’s face and have never taken any panga with you – I have always remained non chalently neutral to the best of my knowledge. Then why did you fall in love with me as a teenager and refuse to call it quits when the movie ’13 going on 30’ also has been taken off from my shelf?

I don’t know what has made you fall in love with me so bad that you refuse to leave my side for a considerable period of time and let the pores of my skin bask in the glory of your absence. I have done everything I could to ward you off, but defeated I decided to have a word with you directly.

My love affair with you is worse than mine with Y’s. Yea, don’t laugh, you cling on to me when I don’t need you and Y doesn’t even when I do! (Though I fail to recall a time when I needed you!) You seem to make appearances knowing precisely the times I dread those very sights?

Are they a result of those girls who are jealous of me looking prettier than them at the wedding that they do tantra mantra and call you or is there a special temple where the parlour girls offer prayers during a dry spell? There are so many questions that seem to lurk large today and I dunno where to start from.

Na na don’t speak in your defense about my less water intake or fondness for junk food, for I have evidence with me to prove that even if I regularly drown a well and stick to daal chawal diet (which I do) you wont be pleased.

Don’t you dare open your mouth about oily skin or super oil secreting T-zone pores or dandruff on my scalp. I don’t know what percentage of commission is offered to your by the parlour, but all I know that by now the contribution from my pocket can earn you a house in this city!

Stress did you say, well then thank you for adding to it and bringing on more of your peers! Well you know what am not against a picnic but then why my face and err… lets not get into other areas of the body!

If you think that it’s my loving touch and beckons you to linger on then am sorry to point out that I have no interest in doing that and that you play the mastermind here. To say if I do touch you, you blame your extended visit on the touch and if I don’t then blame my ignorance.

Have really tried to take care of my skin, if you turned your head on the other side to mutter something against that! Have tried all new face washes, pens and oils that have ever been invented on the face of earth. This has only led me to believe that you have a setting with pharma industries that if they really manufacture something to prevent you, they’ll slowly go out of business!

Further, as a thought, it’s not really pleasant to goto sleep with someone or even alone with some yucky creams applied on ‘spots’ which after sometime get rubbed into the pillow anyways when somebody sleeps my style!

If you mean make-up and cosmetics are the real evil, I would have given you the benefit of doubt had you appeared the following morning each time I dressed up and forgot to take make up off at night. But am still searching for answers when you appear on those days when for a long (read that as loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnng) stretch of time all I have applied is kajal and my rose powder!

Yes, like everyone I admit I like attention, but then darling while giving a ppt I would like that attention to be given to the screen instead of you protruding on my forehead. Similarly while shopping for perfumes, I would like sales girls to pamper me with new fragrances, instead of recommending pimple free cream after each little fragrance trial. Attention courtesy you is something more dreadful than enjoyable darling, get it as a fact But then my pain is your glory and hence this earnest appeal.

This is no show cause, because I know there’s little answer you can provide to all that I have pointed out above. I don’t wanna initiate any legal proceedings of harassment against you (mainly coz I don’t now whom to name as the defendant). I just want a plain simple out of court resolution.

You tell me what you want from me, and we’ll find a solution (even offer you something in return to get you off my ass – literally and metamorphic ally!) and then part ways never to meet again (much to my delight and you dismay, but don’t worry I am sure you’ll live through this!). And yes don’t worry about losing a ‘picnic area’ I have loads in stock to refer you to. Just spare me, will you?

Waiting for your answer tonight in sleep. If yes, kindly make this zit on the upper lip disappear which accounts for a painful half smile and makes people think that I am purposely giving them a fake half smile!

Love
Victim of your love – S

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11 thoughts on “Thursday Torments…

Add yours

  1. 1sst ??? LOL letter :)Clearsil ? Himalaya Face wash ? do that..

  2. @Nu: Attention is invited above that all pimple washes have merely added to the country's GDP and done little help to my skin!!! ;( … Yes First.. YAY!!!!!!

  3. Yep, Clearsil is good, worked for me.. though it doesn't prevent new ones from coming..Also tried Aloe-Vera gel, its nice and soothing.Cute post 🙂

  4. @AT: Cleasil never worked for me… dried my skin 😦 .. kaya works but takes a long time 😐 .. as for the new ones have tried karela juice, aloe vera (eating n application), cloves, haldi.. ugghhhh!!!! don't know what else… neem too!!! …:( … Thanks nonetheless 🙂

  5. Yay! 😀 You're back! I mean the not-so-serious you :DI am not the right person to give you advise cos my frequency of a zit is like once in a year! But when I do have one, I use silverex, medicinal cream, and poof! it disappears! :)For all you know, zitty will read this post and feel all hurt and never return!

  6. @DI: 🙂 🙂 … yea Zitty feel bad cry and never ever return… just hde your face DI while zitty read this ;p …. My intensity is also quite low.. its just the timing that really bothers me.. just when it shouldn't happen… was just thinking how hard I am resisting to type a serious post when I read your comment 🙂 … I think I should let the blog world be all happy happy 😉

  7. ha ha.. can understand… I have a big one near my eyes 😦 and it looks so odd… thankfully its drying up by itself…

  8. rofl rofl rofl :Dwelcome to the club – 'pyaar ki badsoorat nishaaniyan':D

  9. @Shilpa: {{{{{Hugs her}}}} .. come my girl sits sit over coffee and muse.. u r the only one who understand the post precisely … ;p@CR: Yea yea.. passion pimples kind… remember this from childhood when a girl with a zit meant she had been kissed!!!! OMG.. don’t even want to think of what that would stand to mean if people saw me now!!!! .. bahut nishaaniyan.. ;D

  10. Classic Love Letteru…can I rub it in and say "I have no idea what you are talking about as I have never had someone clinging on my face" You know I love that autumn leaves on your blogger theme 🙂

  11. @sakshi: I read out your comment to zitty while she was sleeping and just jumped up and said 'who said that"!!! … that's why I say dheere bolo balike zits ke bhi kaan hote hain ; p…. lucky you.. *touchwood* … and yes thanks.. the credit goes to Nu 🙂

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