Nah don’t turn around to look for Ma, it’s not her although in all your later years too she’ll be the only one to call you by this name. As I see you – myself at the age of six, watching the star dotted sky with your tear stained face, I can’t help but tell you all these things when I hear you mutter at Ma – that when you grow up you shall not become a mother like her!
Today B, as I contemplate on bestowing on myself the motherhood tag, I somewhere know that if not exactly then definitely I want to be a mother like her in ways more than one.
Appreciate her when she tells you that you are not to come home crying and that you are to fight your own battles at school yourself. It’s not that she doesn’t want to help you but just that she exactly knows how important it is to make you strong to tackle your own problems.
Listen to her carefully when she refuses to switch on the idiot box and tags you to the library, for in your youth you shall be starting your speech/book with a couplet from the holy Gita, which she introduced you to.
Never accuse her for taking sides, when she refuses to come to your rescue during a sibling fight, for today like me you would be glad that she let you fight and come closer.
Don’t crinkle your nose when she explains to you the importance of learning to cook, for when you are the only one in the hostel who can make her boyfriend the perfect rum cake out of an old pressure cooker, you’ll feel like calling her at midnight and kissing her feet when the entire boys hostel terms your boyfriend as the ‘luckiest guy’.
When she leaves you alone to go for a vacation with Dad don’t hate her, for a few years down the line, you would appreciate her for imparting to you the knowledge of ‘living for oneself’ a few days in a year!
Look at her face when she helps you make cards for Baba, understand that she loves cards and secretly wishes you to make them for her. And yes, don’t be surprised if decades later you find neatly a box in her wardrobe storing all the stupid cards you made for her !
Understand her feelings when she keeps aside an item of her choice at the time of billing owing to financial constraints. For years later though that item might not be even worth gifting her, but still would prove to be the perfect birthday gift.
B, a decade down the line you would be introduced to a thing called a computer and internet. Remember your mother might be then in the fourth decade of her life. Encourage her, don’t laugh at her mistakes, for another decade later when she’s one of the few mothers who blogs, you would be proud of yourself too!
Always remember that she is also a human who cannot be right all the time. But then again make sure you point out her wrongs to her, the way she did when she explained to you where you went wrong in your first relationship, taking care not to stress too hard where it hurts.
Don’t leave her alone during her dark days, no matter how much she craves to be alone, she needs you. Talk to her about her achievements then, show how much connected she is to your own success – there’s no better solace than raising a good kid for any mother.
Always keep aside your ego when she points out your so called follies, even if you don’t agree with her. For years later when you lie alone wondering where you went wrong, you shall be talking to yourself in your mother’s tone in the head explaining yourself how to come out of the mess.
So go for twenty years down the line you shall not be in the same house to hug her and let her know what a perfect mother she has been and that you actually want to be a mother like her!
Happy Mother’s Day Ma – I wish I could present you with the canvas (from Pringoo) to let you know how you have filled my life with colours and shades that make me so proud!
This is a letter from my heart to my childhood self to unravel the mystery of motherhood my mother has explained to me through unsaid words – i also submit it for the BlogAdda Mother’s Day Contest
And here’s my widget: