Am still sleepy, am groggy, am irritated and am cribby I am on an extended PMS spree!!!!
So what’s new you ask? Well, to begin with am just back from visiting home and year ending is almost a week old!
I have heard expressions like the “week breezing past by” or “time flying” and also used them magnanimously but what I have witnessed in the past 10 days, can only be understood if you see my face which refuses to glow even after 3 days of being “dad’s princess”!!!
Yea Yea “mirror” go ahead point out in my face that I am breaking my new year resolution… but sorry not cribbing today is as difficult to keep as to ‘quit smoking’ I guess! Yea I know I promised you, but then you too promised to be nice to me, so guess we are equal now!
I don’t know what was I thinking when I danced ecstatically when I got placed in this “biggie” Bank… did I forget that year ends 4 times here in a calendar year and that no balance sheet is good enough to get a hike!
I don’t know what was I thinking when I proudly announced to my friends that I was never to land up in ‘this’ city… did I forget that there are still people who think that your home is the city of which’s native language you have as the mother tongue!
I want to sleep, I want a break… but then the calendar in front of me has a different agenda it seems. Never has my mailbox being so flooded with mails so many mails from law school requesting my feedback, publishers reminding me of my deadlines and journals still awaiting the “final draft” which I promised them some million light years back. Oh btw I think Lord krishnahas given up eating Brinjals till i decide the fate of the millions lying in cold storage! I think I also owe an apology for this to Lord Krishna!… Sorry dude but soon u shall be served ur fav dish….
To all those people I point out to the dark circles underneath my eyes as an extended apology. Right now currently my mood is the video below and the craving is exactly to be in a deep coma tic sleep from which I emerge out refreshed not needing to splurge on the Spa and the migraine meds.
If there’s somebody who said that it’s good to be home, they forgot to add that its bliss to be pampered by the people who make up that home. “Babyji” never sounded so sweet and no amount of “Betaji kha lijiye or pilijiye” seemed to be enough. Even as I type I look at another added bulge on my tummy with a far away look on my face and a smile. Although I am sure as I am to step into my empty house that smile will give away to frowns and ultimately make me skip dinner to regain back my ‘size”!
It’s home that makes me realize how much of a small town girl I still am, how much those little places still allure me and how much I miss the smells of my own people. It’s wonderful to chat with Mumma sitting on the kitchen slab hiding all her spice jars with the view of my bum and then getting a spanking on the same, when the onions are burnt owing to the sudden disappearance of the jar of jeera powder! It’s wonderful to be making a drink with dad, filing him up with snippets of the Wall Street while he tells me about the latest Japanese techniques used in his industry. It’s good to have a toast with him to our new learning about love, life and losses!
It’s good to holiday when the entire world is holidaying! Given a chance I would love to spend all my Easter’s in London. I fell in love with it completely when I was there for Easter a couple of years back and then later as I lived in Australia for another Easter my love for the former place grew strong! This year too I craved to be there, but then again a visit to the school on the Easter morning and then later a small chat with “Sister Angellina” at the school chapel made me again recollect that blue hymn book which I had seemed to forgotten.
An irate me (thanks to X who beautifully manages to piss me off even when he is sweet!) being guided to my favourite ice cream parlour (coz the driver recollects that it makes me smile!) make me wish that everyone in the world were as nice! But then my grandmother’s words ring in my ear that if everyone was nice then the world would be a boring place and I sigh resign to people like X who make my life very interesting!!!
But just as all good dreams come to end with a jolt, it was Ma’s pointing out at the calendar and reminding me of the ‘plunge’ I am to take in the next two weeks, that makes me again go sullen and cry out the need for a break. But then again one look at her graying hairs and I know she’s right when she points out to the slipping grains of time and the ‘yet-to-achieve” list I have plastered all over me whenever someone talks about raising a ‘family’!!!!
A sweaty ride back home, a cool chocolate milkshake for dinner to cancel out the former frustration does little good. Piles of books and unfilled applications… revised papers to be mailed and tons of bills that need to be scanned make me slurp loudly but with little respite.
The milkshake is long over… even the taste is long lost (which means I have to brush!) the car keys stare back at me… begging me to drive down to wish Best Friend. The bed plays the devil and invites me to a loving embrace…. A better one than X’s it promises me. I weigh the pros and cons of both and then decide to take the friendship of last 2 decades for granted and just give in to the temptation of my comforter.
I hear a small sigh from the garage below… it knows that it would have to bear yet another kick of my angry friend … I pretend to sleep … but then I can’t!
I contemplate between calling up an equally tired X or my over excited BF… decide on neither for both were to snap!
I hug Hobbes close… his fur smells of my drool … it comforts me… I finally sleep… and type this in my head…
Only the ending in my dream was … arms from behind hugging me and then later pulling my cheeks to coo – “my cribby baby” …as I pout and yes most important … in my dream I woke up differently… like not being still sleepy, groggy, irritated, cribby and on an extended PMS spree!!!!
Am off till dunno when on this spree… I wish myself luck!